Ducks | Bellevue, WA | 2016

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Texas. He got one on the first shot, but it fell across the fence into a farmer’s field.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence to get the duck, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor. “This is my property, and you are not coming over here,” he told the lawyer.

The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial lawyers in Texas. If you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you own.”

The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we settle disputes in the boonies. We settle small disagreements like this with the Three Kick Rule.”

The lawyer asked, “What’s the Three Kick Rule?”

The Farmer replied, “Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up.”

The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger.

He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney.

His first kick with his heavy steel-toed work boot smashed into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees.

His second kick to the midriff had the lawyer gasping for breath.

His third kick sent the lawyer face-first into a fresh cow pie.

Slowly, the chagrined lawyer got to his feet and rasped, “Okay, you old fart. Now it’s my turn.”

The farmer smiled and said, “Nah, I give up. You can have the duck.”